Just my liddle opinion.

University is a great big, trouble free bubble. Nothing but swanky soirees and unusual yet fascinating people. This is the opinion held by many a First Year.

Lies. Damn lies.


Coming from a town like Welkom (where clog-like shoes and spiral perms are still the height of sophistication and chic), I thought that moving to a university town like Grahamstown would solve all my problems.

I would never be bored or lonely. The people would be like the characters in all my favourite novels – cool intellectuals, expanding my horizons with their deeply philosophical and unique banter. Finally, I would fit in and be adored for the unique yet deeply misunderstood little snowflake that I was; free from the confines of my overly-conservative upbringing.

As with most long-held expectations, this one bombed the instant I arrived at Rhodes.

Firstly, the loneliness pounced on me like a combusting man headed for a swimming pool. The cool intellectuals, it seemed, had all gone to sun themselves at some other university. I was stuck, instead, with a group of people more pretentious than the conversations at Fashion Week.

With everyone trying to impress and make new friends, it was extremely difficult to find someone who was genuinely being themselves. The same generic chatter would surface, with band names and movie titles being dropped all about the floor around me like overworked bumblebees.

People even started to dress the same. Or if not the same, they would go the opposite route and dress like burlesque dancers and lumberjacks. I found that coming to university does not guarantee you a lifelong friendship - or even tolerable companionship – with people you will like.

People at university are harder to decode, harder to trust, and harder to hold onto than the friends you would make at school. School relationships have a longer time to develop – at varsity you learn to take what you can get just to avoid looking like a hermit/ drifter/ paedophile.

Assuming that I would fit in straight away was an even bigger lapse in brain activity. People at university were just as guarded and judgemental as the people in my hometown – they just hid it better with protestations of social liberalism and claims to open and worldly minds.

There was just as big an expectation to belong to a generic at Rhodes. Appearance was the defining factor – with everyone scrambling to find groups of people who seemed to have something in common with them.

Girls with Guess handbags paired up with girls with Guess handbags.
Boys with skinny-jeans and All Stars paired up with boys with skinny-jeans and All Stars.
Jocks with Jocks.
Preppy Kids with Preppy Kids.
Nerds with Nerds.
Hardly the liberal judgement-free Utopia I had been expecting.

Suddenly, old Welkom didn’t seem so bad. I had a mom to do everything for me, a group of friends who knew everything about me, and I had a defined identity – known to everyone about town. Here at Rhodes I was just another addict looking for a fix of popularity and companionship.

I’m not saying that Rhodes is a terrible place; it’s actually grown on me (and not like a cancer). I have found kindness, friendship and honesty. It just wasn’t as effortless a process as I had expected. Coming to university will not solve your problems – that is something you do yourself.

Sitting in your hometown and wishing the time away is the biggest mistake you can make. Enjoy that time – it’s the last time in your life where you will know anything with certainty. Expect less from university; try not to let it make you bitter.

But most of all, know that the search for the things you want is always worth it.