This is future Terri. I won’t pretend to have some infinite wisdom to give you, because even now you’re not too good at lying. If anything, I’m far more confused than you are right now. Before I begin, I want to let you know that I think your great, and that’s why I’ve worked so hard not to change you, even though its been a challenge. I’m not going to tell you to avoid doing/ do anything specific – you need to go through this all yourself.
When you get here, you’ll finally realise what its like to start over afresh – and it will be the scariest thing you’ve ever experienced. You think that you’re fairly independent, but you aren’t. When you get here you’ll realise what its like to do things for yourself, having no one like mom to help you through. People will let you down, you won’t make friends immediately, and the work will almost succeed in submerging you. However, it’s not all bad. If your patient you’ll find a few great friends and you’ll learn that you don’t have to conform to the generic persona of the “popular” for people to like and respect you. Adapting is tough, and people generally won’t be as sympathetic as you’d think. Many of your friends will reach breaking point, and you’ll have to be strong for them when you feel just about ready to implode with the pressure yourself; but it’s the most worthwhile thing you will ever do.
The amount of freedom that will reveal itself to you is unlike anything you’ve ever imagined; enjoy it, but remember that it has the power to break you. Keep your priorities clear and don’t allow anyone to make you lose sight of them. Enjoy everything your doing now, I look back now and miss the simplicity and sense of wonder I lost when I got here. But I’m so glad to have started this life, to have learned some valuable (albeit painful and time-consuming) lessons and to have finally figured out that I’m going to be fine.
You’re making the right choice in coming here. And whenever you feel ready to give up, remember that I’m sitting here in our room with a Coke Light and a heart full of faith in you. Good luck!
Lots of future-love
Terri
PS: Eat less cookies. Nobody likes a fattie.
5 comments:
Your letter to your former self rings so true for many first years, who struggle with university when they first arrive. I personally can relate to the fact that the new-found freedom is never quite what it seems, that it often becomes overwhelming not having “mom” there to help, and feeling like no-one else in the world can possibly understand your homesickness and frustration. However, like you said, in time you will make friends and they will be the ones who carry you through the difficult times.
I completely agree with you that, in order to make and keep these new friends, form your own independent identity, and enjoy yourself in the process, it is vital that you remember to keep the values you were taught at home. If these values happen to slip an inch out of place, it will become increasingly difficult to maintain your relationships with yourself and others, making university life a lot harder than it really is.
Hey Terri
I really liked your letter – your personality really came through strongly. You stayed true to yourself and didn’t let others change you. This is similar to what I advised my former self about in my letter. I totally agree with you: you can’t start conforming to the ideals the majority present, no matter how challenging it might be, or you end up slowly chipping away pieces of yourself. And sometimes it’s better to be different – like, for me, it’s safer for my friends if I’m sober, so I can get their drunken bodies home safely. I also told my former self that she would get through it ok – it all seems very scary when you write it down and describe the problems she will face, doesn’t it?
Well, done, Terri. We’re better people thanks to this first year, aren’t we?
Keeping being yourself. We <3 you for it.
*Meat_is_murder*
Your post is powerful and genuine Terri! I particularly liked how you immediately declared that you did not have new-found “infinite wisdom”. I think the changes we go through in varsity are often subconscious and difficult to articulate. I mean, I know I’ve matured immensely at varsity but to give any sort of advice on how to cope is tough.
You demonstrate your strength of character by showing faith in your younger self– and that’s all you really need in first year! It’s the time when you learn to rely on yourself – to balance a social life with your academics whilst maintaining a sense of “you”. You seem to have done that perfectly.
My post was quite similar in that we both found instant gratification to be disappointing!
Keep blogging :)
http://dysfunkshunl.blogspot.com/2008/09/what-i-wish-i-was-told.html
This letter is extremely powerful and clarifies Terri's amazing personality by far.It defines and explains a students journey going through university in a nut shell. Terri has taken the topic and analysed it from every different aspect that this situation may be viewed. Her writting is straight forward and honest for example where she say "if you are patient you will find a few great friends and learn that you dont have to conform to the generic persona of the "popular" for people to like and respect you. She stated an excellent fact there because everyone did come into this word alone.
Congrats Terri
By: kganya Ramoshaba
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